By Kathryn Green
March 15, 2018
Categories: Empowerment, Life Coaching, Motivation, Thoughts


You know what it’s like, right? You’re so excited about whatever it is that you want and you decide to go all in! You’re certain this is the right choice. You know you’re ready. This is the thing that’s going to make your day (maybe it’ll change your life).

YOU COMMIT.
YOU’RE ALL IN.
YOU BUY WHATEVER IT IS…
THE THOUGHT, THE THING, THE PARTY, THE PLAN, THE PROGRAM, THE CONCEPT.
YOU’VE DONE IT.
YOU’RE SO EXCITED.

But wait…you’re not?! (Queue the defeated music here…dun, dun, dun.)

Where did your excitement go? Why did your steadfast belief in the benefit of this thing disappear so quickly?

Crud. It’s gone and you’re left feeling skeptical, scared, and squeamish. What have you done?

You begin to seriously question your ability to make ANY decision at all. What the heck? What were you thinking? How could you be so ridiculous? Now what? Can you return it? Can you back out? Maybe you can come up with some sort of excuse that will sound legit. “Am I sick? Yea, I’m not feeling well. I’ll go with that.”

Sound familiar?

Here’s the funny thing. You didn’t make the wrong decision. First, there are no wrong decisions. Seriously. Decisions are neutral. It’s only when you begin to think about that decision that it becomes a good one or a bad one, one you are so happy you made or one you will regret. The feelings that come from the decision making process are because of the thoughts you think. So you may feel fantastic or not depending on what you’re thinking.

Your brain, while amazing and quite a remarkable piece of equipment, can often throw you into a tailspin when it’s not being managed. Initially it liked your idea and found your decision exciting. Your thoughts were the signal to the brain to create the neural peptides to bring on that emotion! It was on board.

But then, because your brain is designed specifically to be efficient and to keep you from harm, it perceived danger in the change you were making. It leaves the world of possibility and excitement, and begins to create thoughts that will keep you in the status quo. If you’re doing what you’ve always done and getting what you’ve always gotten, there’s no possibility for pain (or so your brain thinks). It takes you back to where you were by using thoughts like these:

You don’t need that.
It’s not going to help.
Seriously, you’re fine without it.
You’re alright.
No need to upset the apple cart.
You’re going to be wasting your time and your money.
Take it back.
Don’t do it.
You’re ok where you are.
You don’t need to change.

And when these thoughts come in, you’re bound to feel the craziness set in with the confusion, questioning, unhappiness, concern, skepticism, and fear. What you once wanted and saw such benefit in, now appears to be the biggest mistake ever.

Your brain doesn’t appreciate change. Change is inefficient. It requires going outside of the comfort zone, learning new things, potentially “failing” and feeling uncomfortable. The brain wants to do everything to keep you from experiencing this perceived danger. Interestingly enough, even though it engaged in the fun and frivolity initially, it is more concerned about your safety. The problem here is that keeping you where you are also has it’s own pain associated with it. However, this pain is familiar and that’s where your brain would like to stay. Familiar. Efficient.

So, what do you do when this happens? Do you believe that you’ve made the wrong decision or is there another option? Thankfully, you can go with another option. You can override your brain’s default pattern.

YOU CAN DELIBERATELY CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT TO THINK AND HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL!

This is incredible news! You are in the driver’s seat. You are fully and completely able to respond in whatever way you want! You can take your brain and coach it into making change, getting it fully on board with your decision and sticking with the new idea. All you have to do is REDIRECT your brain to think the thoughts that bring you into a happier, more excited state about the decision you made.

  1. Go back to the moment you originally made the decision and ask yourself, “What were the thoughts I was having at that time?”
  2. Write those thoughts down and then recall what the feelings were that you had when you were thinking thoughts thoughts.
  3. Write those feelings down.
  4. Take these thoughts and feelings and invite your mind to hang out with you in them. Read the thoughts out loud. Feel into the emotions that come up when you read the thoughts.
  5. When the buyer’s remorse thoughts come back in, invite your mind to let go of those and draw the positive thoughts back in.

You can get back into the good feelings and stay with them. It takes practice. Conscious, deliberate thinking.

It’s important to remember that YOU are the only one responsible for how you feel. Only YOU can create the feelings you have through your thinking. While you may have been led to believe it’s the person, situation or thing that brings the feeling to you, it’s truly only your thoughts that create the feeling.

You are ultimately responsible and this is GREAT NEWS! EMPOWERING, isn’t it?

Here’s to you & your empowered life,

Kathryn

P.S. If you want to learn more, I’m here. Let’s chat. I’d love to find out more about you and what you want for yourself. Set up a free 30-minute mini-coaching session with me! Go all in!

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