Did you know that the path of guilt and self-doubt is completely optional?
It’s true. I promise. You don’t have to go there. You don’t have to believe your own random thoughts. You don’t have to believe what other people say. You don’t have to continue to feel those emotions. You can choose whatever thoughts and feelings you want. You can choose a different path.
Let me tell you a quick story.
I totally understand what it’s like to feel guilt, self-doubt, in addition to the stigma of having lost my husband to suicide. Initially, I was told by many friends and family members it wasn’t my fault. I told myself this too. I believed it at first, but then I began to think about all of the “what ifs” and the “should haves”. I questioned what I’d done and what happened. What if I hadn’t left? Should I have said yes to his question about coming back? Could I have been more understanding, more loving? What if there was something more I should have done? And the list went on. I also dealt with several of his friends and family changing their tune and blaming me. In the midst of all of this, I began to feel guilt, self-blame and shame. I doubted my abilities and my choices. Before I knew it, I was walking the path of guilt & self-doubt. It felt real. It felt true. I was somehow responsible, right? I should have been questioning my decisions, yes?
Actually, the answer is NO. I was not responsible. I couldn’t change my decisions. I made them with the best of intentions and even if I hadn’t, this was not my choice. I didn’t choose for him to leave us. I was devastated by his death. I loved him. I wanted him to find his way.
Finding my own way was on the agenda now and walking a path of self-destruction was not going to be an option. I knew that I would have to look at myself. . . who I was, who I’d become and who I wanted to be. I was willing to do that. What I wasn’t willing to do, however, was take responsibility for something that was completely outside of my control. What was in my control was finding a new path to walk with my head held high. It was my responsibility to build my confidence and to learn to trust and believe in myself for first time in a VERY long time.
I began to pick up the pieces. I looked within. I got REAL with myself.
I found compassion for myself, for him, for his family and friends. I still work on this. It’s a practice.
I made changes to the way I thought about my experience. Did you know you can do that? It’s so empowering.
I shared my story. . . the raw, real story. It’s amazing how much healing can come from being vulnerable in this way. I was surprised by how strong I felt in being vulnerable.
I chose to walk a different path. . . one filled with vulnerability, compassion and strength.
Which path are you going to choose?
With love & belief in you,
P.S. The path ahead of you is your choice! All you have to decide and take the next step! It is absolutely possible.
It’s a process.
It’s not always easy, but you can do hard things.
It’s extremely revealing. It’s ultimately empowering.
Join me for a free empowerment session so we can talk about what’s going on for you and how we can work together to get you where you want to be and beyond!
It is SO worth it! AND so are YOU!